Monday Fundays

Judianne Speach

Those snow days sure were good to us. There’s nothing like the feeling of waking up, glancing at a text from a five-digit number and falling back asleep. Unfortunately, those days are over. It’s time to deal with getting out of bed before noon, hour-long lectures and worst of all, Mondays.

Monday is the most dreaded day of the week because the concept of reality sinks back in. Saturday and Sunday are liberating days where we tend to forget about all homework and really anything important. Maybe you relax, watch hours of Netflix, sleep, party, stare at the wall… And then Monday comes along. Whatever it is you do, whatever happiness and freedom you get to experience, is shattered into a million pieces as soon as your alarm goes off. Sure, you can hit snooze nine times and pretend like it’s not happening. You can crawl into the shower for 20 minutes, getting lost in the rejuvenation of hot water. But that results in panic, wearing whatever is on the floor, grabbing a Pop Tart as you sprint out the door and awkwardly walking in late to class.

I was going to extensively give you tips on how to overcome Mondays, but when I looked up ideas on Google (since we all do that), I about laughed. There were ideas like “Wake up with a positive attitude,” “Wake up earlier than you normally would,” “Don’t sleep in too late over the weekend…” Like that’s going to happen. This is Monday we’re talking about. So I’m going to keep this short and practical.

Next Monday, don’t hit the snooze button. Just don’t. It’s evil. Instead, set your alarm to a really loud song that you hate and put it across the room. You’ll want to get out of bed, trust me. Also, try to get out the door at a decent time so you make it to school on time and you’re not flustered. Lastly, don’t let your day be ruined by the fact that it’s the start of the week. Four more mornings and you’ve reached the weekend. One seventh of our lives are a Monday, so by learning to deal with them, one seventh of our lives can be that much better.

Eh, who am I kidding? Just try to make it through the day without hurting anyone.

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